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Thursday, May 28, 2009

PisseD....

Patience tested....

tested n passed.....
tested n passed....
tested..n passed on border line...
Tested and FAILED big time

enough of tests....

Enough
*screams out*

NO Shortcuts

Feelings suppressed...they are killing me....I dun want anymore pals....
n one thing in my case in sure.....
.....I was happy alone....n i wanna live alone....dont know,, kab takk....but untill some work is done n my stress level which is burning up turns freezy cold....which might happen though some rare action.....i Guess its going to happen.....holy crap....is it going to happen???

M angry ...f*ked up....stressed....frustated....messed..dazed....feeling bad

Sunday, May 24, 2009

One~Bizzarre~Day


He just came to pick me up....coz he has his exams from next week on...n Economics isnt his cup of tea...
I went to his place...we started studying....Freak !! he knew everything...he said I wanted to study looking at you..."I get positive vibes and inspiration"
huh? now what was that suppose to mean...?
So it was just a lame bahana so that I come up to his place...his mom is as sweet as ever....she gifted me a dress
*dances*
and yesterday she talked to me as if I am just a few days away to come into her family....
she likes me....i guess so..!!
...but the Rare part was that I met his grandma ( Dadi ) for the first time... She liked me...infact it was told to her that I am just Teddo's friend....
ha ha ha...
she said.." No let it be a friend .... I want my grandson to marry this girl itself..she said M pretty "
*blushes*
0~wierd~ strange~filmy~glimpsy~wowwy~super sexo~0

I mean in true words..."Mazaa aa gya"
I was extremely happy
My Teddo n Me...had a very long chat till 5:15 am in the morning...
we are getting closer n closer Indeed...
N i just want the world's blessings in our lap...
*..tOuch WooD..*

i Dun wanna loose him in any case..I am so worried cuz Life is never perfect... M insecured as m aware of my bad - bad - bad fate...
M extremely insecured and immensely happy at the same time ...my mood is like the waves of the ocean

when ever i feel my castles in the sky beautifully decorated... all things go wrong...

Prayer

Dear God ...if U have gifted me An Angel of LOve in his form....Don't ever snatch him from me....I can't really breath without him...i know its wrong..a kind of addiction or what so ever...But, My love is this way...I am this way....I can't change so my Love cannot...!! I'll love him till my last breathe and even after that...!! That too Unconditionally !!

Amen


My Mood:
moving, rising
reaching, grasping, encasing
tumbling, rumbling
crashing, smashing
Waves....


Tomorrow is his brother's bday...n I ll c my Teddo again...Thank God !!

Monday, May 18, 2009

♥♥Here without "YOU"♥♥


Missing you babie....♥♥
Though, You aren't with me...
the whole world seems Depopulated..♥♥
My knees are weak....
My heart is heavy...
but your love is my strength...♥♥
then why is it making me weak..??
Still after four years in the relation...
get butterflies in my stomach...
when i think bout you..
or you look into my eyes..♥♥
such is our love..
so fresh yet so old..♥♥
Look into my eyes...
did not sleep since longg...♥♥
Waiting for my world..
my world is you..
just want to embrace your love
around my arms ...♥♥
the moonlight speaks only of you
n donot let me sleep♥♥
my castles haunt me...
m so empty yet so heavy inside somewhere near the stomach♥♥
M still here without you....
you are there ...n still not wimme...♥♥
Honey...you are my need...!!
Missing you like hell in the heaven...♥♥
I ♥ you forever...♥♥

Friday, May 15, 2009

Screwed

Day time:
My brains fcking screwed by so many thoughts altogether...
pissed off.....!!!!
meri life mei "pange khatm hi nahi hote..."
kabhi bf se panga..kabhi friends se argument..ye narazz ...wo upset..mai upset...papa sad ...uff...
these dumb fcking walls too never speak
knock knock....
Y are things bothering me????
Need a Psychatrist...arrgghhh...!!!!
Evening:
.....Washed my hair...with a fruit flavored shampoo..( smelled umm .. yummy ) ..
was calmed down...
watched tv..had a small chat with a friend...a bit relaxed...brains are again screwed...
O Jesus......!!!
Help me..please...
m not that bad as a person...!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

The Unstained LOTUS....


Hey there..was thinking of changing my name today...Lotus was what i define myself as...in a single word...!!
I am back from a cool trip ( Mussoorie )
Right now iam listening to a song called LEJA LEJA ( by ustad ali ) ...i am hearing it for the 17th time....I just larve it....!!
Many followers were waiting for me..please excuse me as i was kind of trapped in my entangled routine...!!
My life has changed to a great extent...
over with the graduation's exams...Now would certainly hunt for a good job....n the first thing m goin to do with my first salary is ...would go for a Lotus tattoo...which will remind me of being a 'lotus' everytime prior dealing with the mean world
..during the trip ..i saw a lotus at one of our stoppage called Cheetal ( quite famous 1 )....
I was goin through a lot at that time....my mind was muddled up with various Questions....
I got back from there and again...no change...My mind was still wondering...unless while uploading pics on facebook...I found a pic of a lotus which i clicked....which reminds me...of my own traits...
I mistook the stains on my image which in reality, don't affect my appearance and purity...
then i read this somewhere...n I was sure i need a tattoo now...coz i wanted to rise above
...Lotus will remind me to be someone who i actually am...
"The one who wanders independent in the world, free from opinions and viewpoints, does not grasp them and enter into disputations and arguments. As the lotus rises on its stalk unsoiled by the mud and the water, so the wise one speaks of peace and is unstained by the opinions of the world."