My Budday Babie...!!

Em Late Guyz... I thot of updating his budday the very day it happened, that was Saturday n this is Tuesday...:(

Well well well...The gud News is....My idea got its shape and he had his best budday bash evaa....

What wasn't there??

*All his frenz n Cousins were invited

* Hookah n Boozing

* People went mad Dancing...

* A close dance with him on 'Dil ko tumse pyaar hua' ....at the centre of the party hall surrounded by like 15 frenz.

* Great pictures were clicked.

*Amazing gifts that he got...!!

*Impressed his family..yippiee....<3

*We awl were lookin cute.

* Everi1 was happy....n this party was reciprocated by comments like.."we neva saw such a pardiee"

* Incredible Champagne.

* Washroom Kiss..mwahhh  (.Sshhhhhh....!!!)

* It rained ( Sexiest Weather ever )

It wasn't just his day alone....it was my Love's celebration too...His birthday party Rocked...People wouldn't forget it....I bet....!!

 We missed the ones who din come,  the 1s who wern't there, MISSED all the FUN.... [:P|

And m reallie happy that my idea took a good shape....

Congo hunny....n yaa here are my bday wishes tto you

^ Keep Smiling ( true smile )

^ Loadzaa Success

^ May u get what your Heart desire

^ Keep loving yo family and Me...( n you get more love reverted )

^ Be successful in what u doing.

^ In short: I wish fo you....Love, Success, Happiness,Peace of mind, Long Life, gud Health, Joy, Fun, 2 kids lol, And Me....!! = A puurrffeecccttt   life

^ And I wish u keep kissing me like the 1 on your b'day...

Bless you babie...

Mwahhh

AND YES THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST HAPPY DAYS OF MY LIFE.... I got to understand a lot...and a confusion between Need and Desire got resolved ....

Happy bday ....'

Live long

mwahhhhhh!!!!!!!!

DAZED....!!

This was the longest gap between my posts....coz i was trying to figure out somethings...

I feel like a criminal nowadays, M restless, M not at peace, M all muddled up....

I simply Know what way to go...still can't go that way...

I AM DAZED (wish i could be a daisy instead...ok no more nature-related  metaphors...)

Lord Help me...!!

sometimes it is very struggling to choose between desire and need...!!

I'll always choose 'Need' and as i promised ....i stay on my words..no matter what.. i wouldn't take my words back....

Needless to say,I chose Need and I ll stick on that..then why is my desire popping up again and again to disturb me...to intervene and rule my Decisions...!!

haww  whatashame!!!!

I feel like a Rose in the dead Garden....I feel like a passenger in a train which lost its track...I m just so clueless.. y this restlessness has conquered me?????....m suffering sleeping nights, Feeling of happiness and sorrow at the same time....a tint of excitement and a hint of nervousness together.

Future is the only answer to all my queries...but this IMPULSIVENESS n this juggle between the Desire n Need...

awwwww Poor me...!!

the New Castle near the Moon

heyy....yestrday was one of the  coolest days at my baby's place...i was....unusually dressed up perfectly cuz watever happened few days ago needed me to gather a lot of guts to go back to his place...

well...i fell in love wid the mirror....he came to pick me up and the entire way on bike i kept on peeping into the mirror....!!

then came the best part....

his place... seems to me a Dance party alwayss....his bro is fond of real loud music...veri loud indeed...!! 

met his mom..she looked amazing...!!

She cooked sm scrumptious paneer rolls for us...!!

since yesterday i gifted him hookah prior to his bday ...the onli thing i could smell was smoke of excitement....

then a li'l chit chat wid his mum...!!

i was veri comfortable for the veri frst tym at his place...now this place seems more n more familiar 2 me every time i go....

it felt like "Iam Home".... i m in love with that place and its people...!! Im not much into my cousins and peeps in my own family.....so it felt ..... i got a new n a better family... my dream of a happy family will come true ... i want to fill new colors of love and Harmony into it....

the onli thing m excited n a bit conscious bout is his bday this saturday...m bout to meet his entire khandaan ..oops....

*Fingers Crossed*

Get Gorgeous

Very often a Girl  asks such questions from others and themselves...

How do i Look?? who's better ... the girl who lives next door or me?? 

They get insecured with a snap of a finger ...i also noticed the highlighted Jealousy factor in 'em...!!

Nature made everyone splendid.... everyone specialised...!!

Yesterday the weather was wealthy with beauty     ...trees rustling in the gentle breeze, the birds chirping, thick rugs like grass appeared greener.... the  hunk in the neighbour looked cute in red..( what? he is a part of nature too )

Did Trees ask the grass that i look better than you???

Or did the birds questioned the breeze??

Since the weather was awesome, everythin was giggling including the trees, the storm, the grass, the petals.... cuz the harmonious surroundings made things happier and when everything was so glorious ... i could see more of my neighbours out of their shells than any other day....it was not a usual sight..!!

This romantic weather also invited my boyfren... we shared a nice coffee n i cooked for him...everything seemed so perfect untill he told me an unusual thing ... while his way back

A 'B*tch' Conspiracy amonsgt his 2-3 cousins who i met for the first tym last week....

they made unwanted remarks on the way i look...in front of my bf's parents... i felt horribly ill inside....what was happening to me?

I never cared about what people talked behind me or against me...!! i know i look pretty good..then y is this unecessary stuff bothering me that too a kiddish conspiracy by a bunch of losers...?

I was feeling ill and ugly after a longggg period..!!

My guy's bday is next week and i thought of taking a revenge untill an inner voice interuptted.

"Girl.... Are u into this?? Ain't you above this crap?? Do successful ppl act like this??"

OMG..!! OMG !! What a nuisance..!!!

An ornament looking Rose din compare itself to the sacred lotus ... then why do we humans have this habit of judgement ...!! Can I say that these shrubs are more modest and  intelligent than humans???

I controlled my mind and tried to strike a conversation with myself. i said to myself

"I am a very special person with lots of dignity .... Iam independent...I love to travel....I love to chit chat....I walk like a queen... I talk nicely....I never think ill of any person not even my enemies....I love to read...and increase my vocab...i dream big like the castles in the sky..(:P....I was in school's badminton and theatre team...I was loved by many teachers n  still in contact with them...and most importantly i never judged anyone by his/her looks...I love nature likewise humans created by nature....!! these are all good traits...inside me..

and externally excpetionally pretty eyes and full lips, glowy skin and m almost in shape...then Y???

I still dunno why was i behaving wierd...initial few seonds..what went wrong with the carefree and loving girl inside me....Who overtook her...?"

So got a billion replies from somewhere deep:

All i gotta know was that Iam  absolutely Gorgeous....N in my special way....'A Strong woman'

'A good daughter', 'An outstanding Gf', 'A b'ful fren', 'A generous n a kind lady', 'A brainy girl', 'a popular good looking girl' and not to forget a 'God's Creation'

ANYHOW..... I learnt a lot yesterday..I learnt In order to be Successful and sustain that success, one has to overbear the tauntrums and ignore the conspiracies...however take positive things from the surroundings and Nature....!!

With past I have learnt to celebrate myself ... I hav learnt to stay alone happily...I have learnt to Love unconditionally, respecting people in my life, Smiling when it is hurting...

M over and above all this....I shouldn't even had re-considered the fact of humiliation...as i wasn't humiliated....M still above them and these Scandals...I love myself which is the most important and rare thing in the world...

"I am good...but am not an ANGEL...I might be a sinner...but am not A Devil"

"I donot care about what others say behind my back...i have already shown them my back"

"i look cute even when iam not well"

"I have to rise above all this...I live like a starlet then y not behave like one.. Do they keep asking their fans....and anti-fans to take back their words or whatsoever."

"I will never judge anyone"

"I will keep loving nature an will learn new things from the same...Would love to learn the sharing trait of animal kingdom, the free spiritedness of the butterfly 'queendom'...or the dancing trees and incredible peacocks "

learnt to --> RISE ABOVE THE BI*CH WHO TALKS BEHIND YOUR BACK.... LET THE MATURED WOMAN IN YOU OVERTAKE THE INSECURED GIRL...ENJOY LIFE TO ITS FULLEST...!!!! INSIDE ME IS  TRUE FEMININE GODDESS AND I 'LL BRING THAT OUT AND BE LIKE ONE...!!

PEACE

My Knight is No more with me

O !! What days they were...

Wen I n my Knight were together..!!

Addicted to his shoulders,

My childhood went by..

As i grew, he din let me cry..!!

His Advices, His Love, His Dreams;

I wanted to give him All.

More than any Parents

He endured all my torments...!!

His strong headed and stiff decisions,

His ardent n Impetuous Visions..!!

He gifted me the best of everything,

Just what i ever had summoned..!!

Till his last breathe, he was stubborn

Did listen to None n din fight his agony..!!

Our bond was was utterly unique,

It was deep in every streak...!!

Someone sitting Above din like it,

My strength has gone after

My knight had left.

My knight in the shining Armour...

an inspirational force  was worn out to carry Burdens,,,

wen He fought his entire times...

Then y not this Destiny's Crimes???

His pain was unbearable to me too...

I coudnt endure it n i was trapped....

I had to decide what do i wish

His well being or His Life??

I prayed to God bt i doubt if there was any...!! :(

I had to see his grave n i was stunned..,

"O !! Y din u gifted me yo victory?"

I asked him on his grave,

I cried, I bent on my knees,

But he din answer and He din reply

My Macho left me Alone with my breathes heavy

To count my teardrops and the Solitary nights....

I loved you, I love you And I 'll alwyas Love you 

Hope u live happily with nothing to compromise.

In the new world you entered, O yes without me,

with the True souls, Real angels, N yeah without me..!!

I dunno where r u? But i knoe what u must b doing..

Must be manifesting Purity, Love and Selflessness...!!

Watching your son and yelling him high ,

In that famous anger n that manly sigh...!!

Must be watching and asking me somewhere..

To make him educated with all good deeds..!!

As i Always needed you..I apologize,

This task also I couldnt do without you 'My Christ'..!!

you WEre an angel, NOW a real one...

An intermediary between Earth n Heaven...!!

Guard your son since m unable to,

I feel like a thorn in the basket of roses...!!

Who m i without u? 

Some of the suppressions, some pains n Hoses

M  a defeat without you darling..!!

M a body without Soul, Strength  and M starving...

Starving for a Relief, Glory and Aid..

My knight..Bring me upon yo traits n Shades.....!!!!!!

All i Have now are the Memories

The life we once together is a Volatility 

Invite me once in your peaceful city

We'll conversate about the incomplete works

Transfer me your Power to begun where you ended...

with a li'l magic and  you, would do all tasks splendid..!!!

{Peace to your soul n yo love FOREVER chachu....hugs and kisses!!}

Alex in wonderland...:)

iam not to disover my present...cuz it is real hard to do so...it is going really tough for me....

sometimes i just wish to bang my head against the wall ...just soo fed up of watver is goin on...

all i can say is ntng is goin my wayy....

i wish i cud caste a spell as it is shown on wizards of baverly place and cud b a free spirited Alex for 1 day.... n i wud hv gone back school....n would have undone the mistakes i made that time....

i wouldn't have lost some of my buddies ....and my life would have been damn different and better....!!

onli if i knew how to FIT...be assertive...win frenz....be carefree....and less egoistic trait in me....!!

if i just knew how to fit in n survive in the girly geeky and sneaky world....this is how i can discover my present.... i think i made a mistake at everi step...wich makes me guilty all the time....but all i can say is that ...i respected myself....n i am not wid ppl...who din respect me and my worth...so let it be...!! however it could have been Different n a bit sensible cuz i had the resources n din know how to use them rather now i know how to use them but n lack resources....

so thts how i define my present still have a wish to get a magic wand...and redesign my past to get a perfect or at least a fair future.....

O i wish i Was Alex.........

My father- my Hero...

This is just a token to my father...its his b'day tommorow...(15th mar)

Guyss....

he is the best father in the world,,... n i have never seen a man who faced inumerous hardships... still bounced back ..... with the snap of his fingers...n that too with a sweet smile as if nothing had happened

He is a bit different ...he has never asked me to sit by his side and explain what should i do and that silience always sent my will instant messages of responsibility...n maturity...he trusts me and i know i never have to break that trust..

Sometimes, when i sit back and realize what all has he achieved...though not much...yet more than the world...

The thought of writing about you for the first time appealed me a lot...i have known my dad since day 1 of my birth and as mumma told me.... the instant the nurse saw me ...she exclaimed..." the baby is just lyk her father!!"... though this phrase is veri common in my family and thus is repeated many times still i wanna hear it over n over again since it gives me a sense of High Pride...Am his daughter and em proud of it... all i could purchase was an archies card which he considers as a waste of money and over that i couldn't afford anything as much as your true precious smile...No matter people how misinterpret you ....i'll always know that this man can never be harmful to a li'l ant on the road....he wouldn't even kill a mosquito who bit him and gave him pain...as he says "ismei bhi jaan hai"

His warm smile and shiny eyes indicate the unmatched patience and high hopes....here Iam today to be grateful of the great education u provided me...endure this brat who always break rules made by you...n most importantly accept me as Iam....

You are a mentor...a guide...a hero...or lemme put it like this ..."MY inspiration"..Cuz wenevr i feel low and i dunno which way to go...i sit back n think wt wud hav papa done in this case and i follow through...

thanks for getting up at 3 in the morning when i wasn't well....thnks for smiling wen i wanted u to smile...moulding your rules..(a bit)...and n number of other things...which if i start writing would be endless....

I LOVE YOU

n yeah HAPPY BDAY....i wish lots of success and smiles to u...

stay blessed and keep shining as u always do...

have fun....n like evri normal ordinary daughter i will ask u today to

BE WITH ME FOREVER...AS I NEED YOU A LOT....

(white is yo fav colour so this blog is in white)

THIS PAIN BELONGS TO ME

                

This lost soul cries in the  crowd;

Shattered still pretended to be proud

Proud of???

Of the empty days and nights?

Of the hidden tears and sighs?

The wound which still hurts

The heart which neva blurts..

This brain is the sole equipment

which helps to win over evri situation..

Lonely room and the fake smile 

Aloof of the world,None walked together for a single mile...

The unheard houls, the unseen expressions

This world moved on and left aggression

A single being on this earth doesn't care

People around just laughed and stared...

No foes and frenz when looked arround

Houls and yells were the only sounds

Counted the stars with high hopes

Countless were they like teardrops

Life turned into a hell, dun wanna get caught

Even i wana njoy as its short

Woudnt expect this world to stand near

Not neglecting nor do i fear

Observed it and so used to it

Now least bothered bout them a li'l bit....!!!!

Where's that place?

My World still shines

 with Heart of billion beings

Where is the peace and Clarity in mind

Where's the perfect place to find?

Towards the place i go

is a cobweb you know...

I treat my heart against the dark

To transfer it into the power of sunshine

I sincerely follow my Instinct

I believed in the strength of my soul

To find a safer corner, it tries harder

This reminds me to go further

Into the world of mine

To find a minor place to live in this

Huge world which still shines.....

My Best friend

It is said that true friendship is like gud health..its worth is seldom recognized untill it is far way... however this piece of blog states about the most important part of my life... my best friend... a guy who i know since around 8-9 years...

i named him 'Teddo'..

he has lent me his ears since ages... 

did everything a fren needs to do...he is a true essence of Innocence and Charm....

I always cherish our night chats....our Coffee together... our hogging habits....Dancing together...the night outs arm in arm...those Kisses n hugz....xoxoxo

we used to go school together...i snatched his tiffin box...n our daily fights were a ritual bt made up after school ..we hv faced a lot together....Our bloody enemies and common frenz  turned  enemies envious of the beauty of our cultivating frenship...

Wenever we meet, both ov us, or atleast me ...4get about my boredom,solitude, troubles, grief, pain,illness, such are the meetings....watched dozens of movies together and that rare caring look in his eyes spoke everything which he nevr spoke to me....and what makes him my bestest fren is that he never has to boast bout things.... he prefers to do it and let the world know...

His carefree personality and   funloving trait makes me his fan...he'll forget everything under the sun and smile hiding the pains in his heart..

his favourite quote is "U better bow down in front of the KING"  followed wid my  "AS----IFff..." (Thats my favourite quote)....

however Whatsoever it has been...we have stayed together in each other pains...defined true frenship in every trouble we faced...patched up after fighting like wolves....we have partied hard together...bitched together...when i needed a girl...he became that too...shopped wimme till i dropped...He grew up as the time demanded

" Love, joy and frenship u made me feel...
Hold me close, let me cry on your shoulder ...
A guy who always stood up for me N lemme hide...
You hold your head high when your by my side...
You have proved that true frenship still exists...
Gave me sunshine which brightened my face..

From the window panes when i looked...

U cried when my eyes had to rain...

You trusted me and gifted me Loyalty..

u came forward in every Casuality..

What shud i call you the summer's shed

All i can say is that U R MY BEST FREN...."

LOVE U FOREVER

(dedicated to Meet)