PisseD....

Patience tested....

tested n passed.....
tested n passed....
tested..n passed on border line...
Tested and FAILED big time

enough of tests....

Enough
*screams out*

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Feelings suppressed...they are killing me....I dun want anymore pals....
n one thing in my case in sure.....
.....I was happy alone....n i wanna live alone....dont know,, kab takk....but untill some work is done n my stress level which is burning up turns freezy cold....which might happen though some rare action.....i Guess its going to happen.....holy crap....is it going to happen???

M angry ...f*ked up....stressed....frustated....messed..dazed....feeling bad

One~Bizzarre~Day

He just came to pick me up....coz he has his exams from next week on...n Economics isnt his cup of tea...
I went to his place...we started studying....Freak !! he knew everything...he said I wanted to study looking at you..."I get positive vibes and inspiration"
huh? now what was that suppose to mean...?
So it was just a lame bahana so that I come up to his place...his mom is as sweet as ever....she gifted me a dress
*dances*
and yesterday she talked to me as if I am just a few days away to come into her family....
she likes me....i guess so..!!
...but the Rare part was that I met his grandma ( Dadi ) for the first time... She liked me...infact it was told to her that I am just Teddo's friend....
ha ha ha...
she said.." No let it be a friend .... I want my grandson to marry this girl itself..she said M pretty "
*blushes*
0~wierd~ strange~filmy~glimpsy~wowwy~super sexo~0

I mean in true words..."Mazaa aa gya"
I was extremely happy
My Teddo n Me...had a very long chat till 5:15 am in the morning...
we are getting closer n closer Indeed...
N i just want the world's blessings in our lap...
*..tOuch WooD..*

i Dun wanna loose him in any case..I am so worried cuz Life is never perfect... M insecured as m aware of my bad - bad - bad fate...
M extremely insecured and immensely happy at the same time ...my mood is like the waves of the ocean

when ever i feel my castles in the sky beautifully decorated... all things go wrong...

Prayer

Dear God ...if U have gifted me An Angel of LOve in his form....Don't ever snatch him from me....I can't really breath without him...i know its wrong..a kind of addiction or what so ever...But, My love is this way...I am this way....I can't change so my Love cannot...!! I'll love him till my last breathe and even after that...!! That too Unconditionally !!

Amen


My Mood:
moving, rising
reaching, grasping, encasing
tumbling, rumbling
crashing, smashing
Waves....

Tomorrow is his brother's bday...n I ll c my Teddo again...Thank God !!

♥♥Here without "YOU"♥♥

Missing you babie....♥♥

Though, You aren't with me...

the whole world seems Depopulated..♥♥

My knees are weak....

My heart is heavy...

but your love is my strength...♥♥

then why is it making me weak..??

Still after four years in the relation...

get butterflies in my stomach...

when i think bout you..

or you look into my eyes..♥♥

such is our love..

so fresh yet so old..♥♥

Look into my eyes...

did not sleep since longg...♥♥

Waiting for my world..

my world is you..

just want to embrace your love

around my arms ...♥♥

the moonlight speaks only of you

n donot let me sleep♥♥

my castles haunt me...

m so empty yet so heavy inside somewhere near the stomach♥♥

M still here without you....

you are there ...n still not wimme...♥♥

Honey...you are my need...!!

Missing you like hell in the heaven...♥♥

I ♥ you forever...♥♥

Screwed

Day time:
My brains fcking screwed by so many thoughts altogether...
pissed off.....!!!!
meri life mei "pange khatm hi nahi hote..."
kabhi bf se panga..kabhi friends se argument..ye narazz ...wo upset..mai upset...papa sad ...uff...
these dumb fcking walls too never speak
knock knock....
Y are things bothering me????
Need a Psychatrist...arrgghhh...!!!!
Evening:
.....Washed my hair...with a fruit flavored shampoo..( smelled umm .. yummy ) ..
was calmed down...
watched tv..had a small chat with a friend...a bit relaxed...brains are again screwed...
O Jesus......!!!
Help me..please...
m not that bad as a person...!!

The Unstained LOTUS....

Hey there..was thinking of changing my name today...Lotus was what i define myself as...in a single word...!!

I am back from a cool trip ( Mussoorie )

Right now iam listening to a song called LEJA LEJA ( by ustad ali ) ...i am hearing it for the 17th time....I just larve it....!!

Many followers were waiting for me..please excuse me as i was kind of trapped in my entangled routine...!!

My life has changed to a great extent...

over with the graduation's exams...Now would certainly hunt for a good job....n the first thing m goin to do with my first salary is ...would go for a Lotus tattoo...which will remind me of being a 'lotus' everytime prior dealing with the mean world

..during the trip ..i saw a lotus at one of our stoppage called Cheetal ( quite famous 1 )....

I was goin through a lot at that time....my mind was muddled up with various Questions....

I got back from there and again...no change...My mind was still wondering...unless while uploading pics on facebook...I found a pic of a lotus which i clicked....which reminds me...of my own traits...

I mistook the stains on my image which in reality, don't affect my appearance and purity...

then i read this somewhere...n I was sure i need a tattoo now...coz i wanted to rise above

...Lotus will remind me to be someone who i actually am...

"The one who wanders independent in the world, free from opinions and viewpoints, does not grasp them and enter into disputations and arguments. As the lotus rises on its stalk unsoiled by the mud and the water, so the wise one speaks of peace and is unstained by the opinions of the world."

The Handbag "SYNDROME"

As i promised m back with nothing much....

Imran khan, Priyanka, John...and now me....Handbag...m sure many of you must have browsed 'Handbag' columns in HT city last week...

I truly enjoyed going through those columns....

As i grew up with guys I know th

ey crib over girlie things which we carry though they'll crib more if we do not carry them....I bet...if they read ...they'll know...:)

So, We are different..."He" and " she"

"HUM - tum" are unusually opposites....

Well coming back to hangbag column....

I went through these three columns...and I just FOUND the difference .... i mean he/she thing again...

Talking bout my "Handbag syndrome"...

umm ....My mum....best fren...boy fren....all of them are irritated with my habit of getting them in every color and style...

Usage:

#Whenever your guy suffers from headache, can hand over him the Crocin..!! He is IMPRESSED!!! not bad...huh!!!!

#If you buy a surprise gift for my mom...I dun have to hide it behind my bum or thighs..as if she wont get to know....!

#A long day....and u get a sudden call from an important fren who wants to meet ....What if u r on your way back...stuck in the traffic...looking horrible...u can quickly brush yo hair...if yo handbag got a comb in it...!!

#Wallet is safe.

#Cellphones are safe inside the Handbag and No one has to look fat from the thighs cuz of those imprints visible tackily in the front or the back pocket...!!

#Style...**

These were few ...now the top ten things which A girl must Carry:

HANDBAG: "the bigger, the better, the trendier"

10) A pocket cologne. Your deo wont help you for more than 3-5 hours even if u sit in AC the entire time.

9) Crocin, Band aid and a Koflet. ( Headache, a bruise and soar throat- the most usual problems)

8) Wallet with extra money and debit cards safe inside. ( you'll be juggling to find them...so how can the thief be sure of it?)

7)the "Girlie" thing (you might need it or may be the girl sitting next to you)

6)A comb ( very very very precious thing )

5)Facewash, Tissues

4) Basic make up- ( as per your use..For me: Kohl and Gloss)

3)Sunglasses/ contacts case.

2) Sunscreen ( Summers ) and Lip balm ( winters for chipped lips)

1) Pepper Spray (Meet got me 1..I don't move without it)

Forgave you

"I know I forgave 
But this is not the end
in those past moments 
You weren’t my friend
I don’t want you to see 
That I’m still angry 
The pain hasn’t left me yet
Even though I’m trying to forget"

I forgave you already Teddo........Initially I was hurt and I promised myself that I would never ever talk to you....but i knew I had to....it s NOT POSSIBLE

but then Mom Dad left and i invited you to my place....

The reason was not to make out with you....umm....ok..well...

Excuse No. 1: It was long we met.

excuse no. 2: I wanted you to embrace me.

Excuse no. 3: I wanted the fight to get over.

Excuse no. 4: Delhi's weather is pathetic nowadays so din want to go out ..wanted to stay in my cool cozy room.

Thanks for the Apologies I never expected this from a typical man like you...cuz 

Men have the capacity to kill and pretend as if nothing had happened...!! 

I was really angry initially i thought to myself innumerous ways to take a revenge against you.....i was soo soo angry that i felt like Flirting with a guy and make you Jealous...I knoe thats mean but not as mean as You..!! You are a big time Pangebaaz...(:x

you gave me these chocolates....and asked for apology ...well that was cute and i was surprised...and then i dunno much Nakhras...so I accepted (I love bar one and five star)....I had 3 of them already .....M sure i would have gained few pounds which i lost ....

However....

We cuddled n muddled a bit...ahem...Naughty naughty stuff.... ...Can't really elaborate....

Later

....

I cooked for him...he had few fruits...

I read somewhere....Fruit is a sexiest element to seduce a guy...however i should have thought that before...

so.....

for next time..I ll remember Fruits....umm...strawberries....ooo la la....!!

then it was time to bid you Good bye....Love you babie...mwah

 I Kissed him Good bye...with a lil peck on his cheek wich was reciprocated...

and yeah special mention to Princess Nuchu ...Thanks for the award...she awarded me with...."Mysterious and lovely award"....thanks soo much sweetie pie..

These awards are really encouraging to keep up the blog work...!!

Coming up: 

Handbag syndrome.

(Before i Sleep)