Its Paining...n y isn't it Raining???

I have this problem while driving nowadays.... My left arm aches badly while changing gears....the pain goes through the shoulder bone...reaches my arm and freaks me...
It's too hot moreover...
Nimbu paani, Shakes, Slushes, Iced tea and Cold coffee are my friends this season...!!
i HAD Cool blue from CCD....with Teddo...
I hate going out in the sun...working out is even worse....Eww....
Since morning...Mai aaj daant Kha rahi hu...tsk tsk...or ghoom rahi hu....
Mumma said: Don't pop ur puppy eyes out.. You drama queen :P
Aisa nahi hai maa...tujhe sab hai pata hai naaa maa...:)
I dun feel like having dinner... khana dekhne ka bhi mann nahi kar raha...!!
This summer.... I am so addicted to my room, Laptop and books...yawwwnnn....I got up reeeelly late today ( nothing new ) though this has to be changed....and nowdays i loose my temper comparitively jaldi....so this is not at all Coolio...Teddo jokes: 'Tere ko cchedne ka matlab hai sher ke mu se mutton nikaalna'....
la la la....I love him...
I have to Calm calm calm..... the new lotion will hopefully work
I feel like going for a swim... have to get rid of the last year's tan....it is awful....
Tomorrow i have to go for a Snap....eww full snap for an interview... Why do I feel wierd??
Chalo jo bhi hai.... I am praying ...it'll come out to be good and slimmer....pheww..!!... I generally look motuuu in my full pics...!!
Tadaaazz
Gunytzzz.....

I Dont feel a need for Anyone else...

mE~ cONtroversies... my Life ~full of continous - pangas... Shame shame..haww...but mere ko bahot hassi aa rahi hai..!!! Someone who I really liked (in the previous post) said...That :" I keep grudges...and take revenge thereafter" n " M an insecured girlfriend" and ...what ?? yeah... I have a pathetic attitude...do I? May be/ may be not...but thats the way I am...!!

At least M A true friend...!! I never leave my friends in their sorrow...i listen to them...Understand their pain....try doing everything...but obviously cannot let people take advantage of me...regardless of what so ever...!! M no1's Slave...

"Only he can understand what a farm is, what a country is, who shall have sacrificed part of himself to his farm or country, fought to save it, struggled to make it beautiful. Only then will the love of farm or country fill his heart."

Whateverrr..... As if I really care... I really do not care about your accusations.... because i never expected anything out of you.... I have stated in one of my previous posts...that I 'll rather stay alone....I still stick to that...the only difference is that today I am really happy in my life... My peace of mind is still there...!! I have not given any random one the authority to ruin my mood...or affect my life..!!

No grudges- No hatred- No regrets- No sorrows- No greed- No expectations

The fact is...No matter my 'so called' friends hurt me...No matter what they accuse me of...No matter I am no one to them.....I wouldn't take it to heart..at least Not for someone who did not even try see my warm side.... Who doesn't even regard my friendship or understand my Love....who doesn't see my compromises...and that I was with them in their time of need unlike them...!! I wish them all the best...lol...n yeah pitty on them...


I am harsh to those who try treating me like their slaves...!!
I am sarcastic to those who initiate on their own..!!
I am happy for everyone who is happy around...!!
No one is my enemy.!!
I am honest to myself and others...!!
I have the will to accept the truth...!!
I don't hurt anyone intentionally at least...!! and then I am not God to be perfect...!!

so does that mean...My attitude is pathetic...?


A question
... why do people always point 1 bad thing over 100 sacrifices...???? and another question... Why do people who tend to injure others badly...dun have the capacity to take a li'l wound ????

I am not here for explanations...they are just my random feelings....!! I am not an insecured girlfriend...cuz i trust my Love blindly...even if a slut sits on him...I am not a kid that I wouldn't make out...that who has what character....!! and M not perfect-neither a barbie doll...that I 'll simply endure...

I always share this with Teddo...that If you are by my side....I can fight with the entire world...!! If you are with me...
I know I am right.. and i can make a revolution...!! If you are wimme....I can live happily ever after without a single regret..!!
I don't want anything teddo....Just "you" and trust me.. I will be the happiest person on planet as I am today.....the luckiest..the happiest.....
n for someone so sure of what's Love can never be insecured...:)
And i guess we are enough for each other...!! At least I don't need anyone else...!!

Amith... You heard me before i wrote this...I guess that's what made me at peace.. ... it means a lot to me...that You were there..!!
No thank you's...just feeling blessed..!!

PisseD....

Patience tested....

tested n passed.....
tested n passed....
tested..n passed on border line...
Tested and FAILED big time

enough of tests....

Enough
*screams out*

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Feelings suppressed...they are killing me....I dun want anymore pals....
n one thing in my case in sure.....
.....I was happy alone....n i wanna live alone....dont know,, kab takk....but untill some work is done n my stress level which is burning up turns freezy cold....which might happen though some rare action.....i Guess its going to happen.....holy crap....is it going to happen???

M angry ...f*ked up....stressed....frustated....messed..dazed....feeling bad

One~Bizzarre~Day

He just came to pick me up....coz he has his exams from next week on...n Economics isnt his cup of tea...
I went to his place...we started studying....Freak !! he knew everything...he said I wanted to study looking at you..."I get positive vibes and inspiration"
huh? now what was that suppose to mean...?
So it was just a lame bahana so that I come up to his place...his mom is as sweet as ever....she gifted me a dress
*dances*
and yesterday she talked to me as if I am just a few days away to come into her family....
she likes me....i guess so..!!
...but the Rare part was that I met his grandma ( Dadi ) for the first time... She liked me...infact it was told to her that I am just Teddo's friend....
ha ha ha...
she said.." No let it be a friend .... I want my grandson to marry this girl itself..she said M pretty "
*blushes*
0~wierd~ strange~filmy~glimpsy~wowwy~super sexo~0

I mean in true words..."Mazaa aa gya"
I was extremely happy
My Teddo n Me...had a very long chat till 5:15 am in the morning...
we are getting closer n closer Indeed...
N i just want the world's blessings in our lap...
*..tOuch WooD..*

i Dun wanna loose him in any case..I am so worried cuz Life is never perfect... M insecured as m aware of my bad - bad - bad fate...
M extremely insecured and immensely happy at the same time ...my mood is like the waves of the ocean

when ever i feel my castles in the sky beautifully decorated... all things go wrong...

Prayer

Dear God ...if U have gifted me An Angel of LOve in his form....Don't ever snatch him from me....I can't really breath without him...i know its wrong..a kind of addiction or what so ever...But, My love is this way...I am this way....I can't change so my Love cannot...!! I'll love him till my last breathe and even after that...!! That too Unconditionally !!

Amen


My Mood:
moving, rising
reaching, grasping, encasing
tumbling, rumbling
crashing, smashing
Waves....

Tomorrow is his brother's bday...n I ll c my Teddo again...Thank God !!

♥♥Here without "YOU"♥♥

Missing you babie....♥♥

Though, You aren't with me...

the whole world seems Depopulated..♥♥

My knees are weak....

My heart is heavy...

but your love is my strength...♥♥

then why is it making me weak..??

Still after four years in the relation...

get butterflies in my stomach...

when i think bout you..

or you look into my eyes..♥♥

such is our love..

so fresh yet so old..♥♥

Look into my eyes...

did not sleep since longg...♥♥

Waiting for my world..

my world is you..

just want to embrace your love

around my arms ...♥♥

the moonlight speaks only of you

n donot let me sleep♥♥

my castles haunt me...

m so empty yet so heavy inside somewhere near the stomach♥♥

M still here without you....

you are there ...n still not wimme...♥♥

Honey...you are my need...!!

Missing you like hell in the heaven...♥♥

I ♥ you forever...♥♥

Screwed

Day time:
My brains fcking screwed by so many thoughts altogether...
pissed off.....!!!!
meri life mei "pange khatm hi nahi hote..."
kabhi bf se panga..kabhi friends se argument..ye narazz ...wo upset..mai upset...papa sad ...uff...
these dumb fcking walls too never speak
knock knock....
Y are things bothering me????
Need a Psychatrist...arrgghhh...!!!!
Evening:
.....Washed my hair...with a fruit flavored shampoo..( smelled umm .. yummy ) ..
was calmed down...
watched tv..had a small chat with a friend...a bit relaxed...brains are again screwed...
O Jesus......!!!
Help me..please...
m not that bad as a person...!!

The Unstained LOTUS....

Hey there..was thinking of changing my name today...Lotus was what i define myself as...in a single word...!!

I am back from a cool trip ( Mussoorie )

Right now iam listening to a song called LEJA LEJA ( by ustad ali ) ...i am hearing it for the 17th time....I just larve it....!!

Many followers were waiting for me..please excuse me as i was kind of trapped in my entangled routine...!!

My life has changed to a great extent...

over with the graduation's exams...Now would certainly hunt for a good job....n the first thing m goin to do with my first salary is ...would go for a Lotus tattoo...which will remind me of being a 'lotus' everytime prior dealing with the mean world

..during the trip ..i saw a lotus at one of our stoppage called Cheetal ( quite famous 1 )....

I was goin through a lot at that time....my mind was muddled up with various Questions....

I got back from there and again...no change...My mind was still wondering...unless while uploading pics on facebook...I found a pic of a lotus which i clicked....which reminds me...of my own traits...

I mistook the stains on my image which in reality, don't affect my appearance and purity...

then i read this somewhere...n I was sure i need a tattoo now...coz i wanted to rise above

...Lotus will remind me to be someone who i actually am...

"The one who wanders independent in the world, free from opinions and viewpoints, does not grasp them and enter into disputations and arguments. As the lotus rises on its stalk unsoiled by the mud and the water, so the wise one speaks of peace and is unstained by the opinions of the world."